Before I start this blog I would like to send my heartfelt condolences to the whole Hudson family. I cant imagine how you are feeling at this time. Keep your heads up and believe that the lord is embracing your fallen loved ones.

All this week I have been religiously following the tragic events of the Hudson family. If you didn’t hear about it (you really must have been under a rock), singer/actress Jennifer Hudson’s mother and brother were found murdered in their Chicago home (they were both shot). Jennifer’s sister, Julia’s, son went missing and then was found a few days later in their brothers stolen truck - murder. Though no one has been accused, the main suspect is Julia’s estranged husband, William Balfour (who isn’t the kids father) who already had a criminal record - attempted murder and vehicle hijacking in 1999. This story is truly sad an no one deserves to have this kind of tragic on their hands.

I understand that this is a hard time for the family, no one wants to point the blame for this (because seriously, how could you?) on anyone.  I understand that now is a time for healing.

HOWEVER,

I just cant stop thinking that this all could have been prevented. I don’t want to pass judgment on the type of woman that Julia Hudson is, because I don’t know her personally, but from what m feeling from hearing the story unfold is that she was looking for love in all the wrong places¹. I could be wrong, but I’m feeling that she had some low self esteem and when she finally found a man who “accepted” her for who she is she was happy. So happy in fact that she let a convict into her home where her mother, brother, and 7 year old son lived. I’m not saying that all convicted felons are violent, but this one was convicted of attempted murder .. yeah he didn’t kill anyone, but he attempted to.

I see it all the time around here. One of my friends with two young children came over yesterday to introduce me to her new boyfriend. I always knew this chick was a little off but that shit was just dangerous. I don’t like to judge, but when I saw him all I saw was “thug”. Then, when he opened his mouth he proved me right. Not to mention that he was high as hell when he got here. Here is my home girl with two young children - both girls, and she is running around with this dangerous dude for the sake of “love”. The strongest love a woman should have (outside of any religious love)  is the love she has for her child. The love I have for my son is so strong that if Ralph (his father) and I ever broke up I would have to screen any future love prospects heavily. I would not bring someone new into my life and ultimately my child’s life that has been deemed dangerous even in the slightest bit.

So many woman now a day are so blinded by the “well I know he had a past but the past is the past, I’m his future” bullshit. No heffa, the past is not just the past. If you don’t know his past well enough then expect a turbulent future. Don’t be desperate. Love is a great thing, but trust me you want to love the right man. Don’t give your love to someone that is dangerous and non respectful of life and the values that you have. Just because he loves you (or says he loves you) isn’t reason enough to let that man into your life. A lot of woman need to wake up and smell the got damn coffee. Value and love yourself before you give your love to any man. When you love yourself first you’ll be able to weed out the bullshit from the caviar.

And again, please look into your mans past - because it could give a chilling view of your future.

Gotta love the Backstreet Boys but if you believe the “As long as you love me” theory, then you are lost as hell my dear. I’ll pray for you ok?

* WOW! Motherhood is on everyone’s plate this year huh? Shouts to Shine and little “Aliana”, Shannon and little “Sylvia”, Markeyah and little “Caleb” . Also shouts to future mommies Azalea (who’s due any day now) and my girl Faith (due in feb.)

WARNING! This is graphic. Weak stomached people need NOT to go on with reading. You have been warned!

The birth story AKA ” What they WONT show you on the Discovery Channel or TLC”

Bryan Edmond Thomas | Born 9-9-08 @ 6:14 pm | 9lbs 4oz.

Me, a mommy. Who would have seen that coming … well I can say all of my close friends because they know just how deep Ralph and I are in LOVE. We are even deeper in love over the birth of our son, Bryan. You NEVER feel a love as strong as the one you feel for your child. Every sappy love song that you equate to a man somehow feels right in explaining the love you have for your child. Example, Chris Brown - With You. I tear up every time I hear that song. That is Ralph and I’s song but now when I hear It I think of Bryan “With every kiss and every hug you make me fall in love” .

Bringing that little big boy into the world wasn’t easy though. As I stated in my last post my labor had to be induced because he was getting too big inside of me. I’m diabetic and diabetics usually give birth to big ass babies so they decided to get him out of me at 38 weeks instead of 40 (which is still full term anyway). Here is the story, blow by blow. I’m not leaving any stone unturned in hopes of shedding light on some of the more “nasty” aspects of the birthing process .. the shit you DON’T see on TV. click to read more »

As I was looking through my space today at my friend Shaquana’s pictures I noticed something odd. Well, its not odd its just a trait of mine. After seeing numerous pictures of hers tagged with “7days7nights.com” logos it hit me, Allie don’t do “da club“.

Now before you go off and ask what kind of an old hag I am hear me out. I know I’m only 20 but in my younger teenage days I was a wild thing. If you knew me from my past blogs (urban-tease.net and Nubian-flava.net) then you knew that I was wild for a fact. Every week blogging about some diffrent dude I was seeing, some club me and my best friend Michelle was about to hit up, just some ol young girl foolishness - nothing out of the ordinary for my neighborhood. I’ve realized though as I’ve gotten older, when a year would pass I would spend less and less time hitting up the club until ultimately, around the age of 18, I stopped all together.

I guess you can say that I find the New York urban club scene to be rather whorish and lame. I’m not saying that I’m the proprietor of good taste, after all I am the girl with the cherries tattooed on my right breast, but even I know when to say when .. especially at my age and mentality now. The way some of these females come out to these clubs makes me believe that no one owns a full length mirror anymore. Either that, or they just don’t care. Odds are … they just don’t care. I mean come on, who told this broad she looked good?

Tyreeka, please sit yo' ass down and get a stylist asap.

Lets take a look at everything WRONG with that picture up there.

1. Ill fitting Jacket
2. Nasty looking, one-two sizes too small poom-poom shorts
3. Knock off Chanel clutch/purse (ok, I don’t know if it’s a knock off but … shit you know it is)
4. Thigh high winter boots with poom-poom shorts (I mean really, who the fuck started that trend so I can shoot them?)
5. The belly ..
6. The tired, played out weave. I guess she didn’t read about my weave cardinal sins on Luscious-Deluxe.com
7. The Hpnotiq¹ bottle in her hand. I can just see her now, chugging hpnotiq straight from that bottle with no glass.

Nasty ass females aren’t the only reason why I gave up on the urban club hopping. Males are just as tacky, even if its not in their clothing. I’ve realized that the #1 reason men boys come to the clubs is to get numbers and collect females. Its not surprising, in fact its much expected, but the way some of these guys come at you is just ridiculous! Maturity and respect go a long way, but it seems like today thanks to the likes of BET², and the “playa playa” mentalities you will NEVER find Mr. Ideal Man in the club. Nope, not ever. Most of the dudes that approached me in clubs had 99 problems … and this chick wasn’t about to be one of them.

The dancing is atrocious! Sure, I’ll dance with you, but the way they want to dance now we’ll have to put on a condom first. “Dancing” in some of these clubs is just a code word for “feeling on your booty, thighs, and twat”.

And, don’t get me started on the LINE to get into the damn club! Just looking at the line can determine to me if I want to be there. Most of the fighting and ignorance is first noticed outside the joint, so I take a careful look at the line to see just who is trying to get in. If I didn’t like what I saw (which was like 70% of the time) I trotted my black ass home. Why should I pay $20 to go to ignorant avenue? I can watch the project fights from my apartment window … for free.99

Nope, Allie don’t do the club anymore. Maybe one day when I’m old enough to do an “upscale” grown & sexy lounge type thing, but not now when all I’m old enough to get into is the bowels of the club scene. I’ll stay at home with my son, at least his shit will stink for a reason.

Speaking on my son, He’ll be here Monday or Tuesday, because im being induced. I will be MIA from the web world for a little while. Wish me luck people!